Bridging The Gap
by melanie39
Summary: This is a sequel to Fragile Threads. Ryan has asked to see his mother.The epilogue deals with the aftermath of Dawn and Ryan's talk on the beach.
1. Default Chapter

Bridging the Gap Chapter One

They stood regarding each other warily, the great chasm of nine months separation yawning between them. He wasn't sure how to greet his mother. He took a first hesitant step towards her as she moved forward to hug him. He buried his head in her hair as she pulled him tighter. She smelt different, fresher, cleaner and a wave of emotion swept over him. Months of denying her a place in his heart vanished as he clung to her.

The Cohens looked on, each feeling like an intruder. Kirsten stood still and watched Ryan's face as he held his mother and a lump formed in her throat. The resentment she had felt earlier in the day vanished as she watched mother and son rekindle their shattered relationship. How could she have wanted to deny him this? He'd done a good job of hiding his love for his mother for too long.

As if suddenly aware of the pairs of prying Cohen eyes, they pulled apart and Dawn held him in front of her, scanning him quickly. His hair had grown longer and was falling over his eyes. His shoulders had broadened and he was looking more like his father than ever.

"My God Ryan, you've grown about a foot! What have the Cohens been feeding you?" she exclaimed, her voice faltering slightly, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

He looked down, embarrassed and self-conscious.

"Take Out mainly" quipped Seth, his unease not enough to take away his quick tongue.

"Seth!" Kirsten remonstrated. "I don't want Ryan's Mom thinking that's all we give her son to eat, thank you"

"Sorry Mom, we all know that Ryan's growth spurt is attributable to your meatloaf" he retorted.

They all laughed, the tension of the moment dissipating.

"Well, I'm sure it's better than what his alcoholic mother used to feed him, …" laughed Dawn uneasily.

"Mom…" Ryan pleaded.

"Sorry, bad joke," accepted Dawn, her eyes cast downwards in embarrassment.

"Come on in Dawn" invited Sandy, changing the subject quickly, "You'll be relieved to hear we're barbequing tonight and Kirsten is in charge of setting the table!"

"Sandy, you're as bad as Seth!" Kirsten replied, scowling at her husband as she turned and led the way into the kitchen. "Let's go in and get some juice, it's way too hot out here."

Kirsten ducked down under the tarpaulin , followed by the rest of the group. The kitchen was the only part of the Cohens' downstairs to be left relatively untouched by Archie and his team.

"You'll have to excuse the state of the place Dawn, we've been doing a little remodeling over the summer, kept us busy while the boys were away!" Sandy explained, waving his arms in a gesture of hopelessness.

"Oh, it looks …" Dawn's face gave away her true feelings as she took in the chaotic surroundings.

"A mess. I know!" laughed Sandy. "Goodness knows when we'll get it finished. Some mix up with the contractor, didn't know what the hell he was doing. It's a good thing we have Ryan here, he's the only one who seems to understand what _should_ be done." He slapped Ryan on the back playfully.

"Really, Ryan?" his mother looked at him questioningly.

He looked down, slightly bashful.

"Yeah…you remember that summer I worked construction? I picked up a bit about architecture, that's all…." He mumbled. He wished Sandy wouldn't make such a big deal of it. He still felt a little bad for Archie that he'd dropped him in the shit, he'd seemed like a nice guy. Still, he wasn't about to see the Cohens walked over, not if he could help it.

Kirsten, retrieving juice bottles from the refridgerator, interrupted . If Ryan wouldn't boast about his achievements then she would. He had a right to feel proud of himself.

"Yes, and his counselor at school says his grades are well on target to get a scholarship to college. She's suggested classes which would help him study to become an architect, if that's what he wants."

She caught Ryan's eye and smiled at him encouragingly. She knew he wouldn't feel comfortable about them all talking about him like this. If he could let his achievements blend into the background, he would, she knew that. But she wanted him to know that she was proud of him and she was willing to risk embarrassing him to show him that. Even if he didn't appreciate the attention now, she hoped he would later, when he'd had time to reflect.

Dawn stood sipping her juice, looking from Kirsten to Ryan. The fleeting look of self conscious pleasure on Ryan's face was not lost on her. She could see that Kirsten's words meant a lot to her son. She felt her own pride in him surge. He'd always been such a smart little kid, but never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined a career in architecture for him.

"Ryan, sweetie, that's great. I really don't know where all that smartness comes from, it's not from me that's for sure"

Ryan smiled uncertainly, but it felt good to please his Mom, and it was a new thing for him, to see that she was actually interested in his progress. She'd never been when he was a kid. His Mom was not the sort to attend parent/ teacher conferences or show much interest in school reports. The only thing she did make sure of was that he attended school regularly and Ryan was pretty sure that was for her own selfish reasons and nothing to do with wanting him to get a good education. When he was out of the house, she could smoke and drink all she wanted without him to hound her about it. It had always kind of suited him and Trey. At least she never got on their case about homework or joining activities they had no interest in.

But Ryan was beginning to realize that it actually felt good to have people take an interest in your progress. Kirsten and Sandy's constant quizzing about how his classes were going was already inspiring him to work harder and take the idea of college more seriously. He gave a rueful smile when he recalled that conversation in juvie with Sandy, when he'd snorted in disgust and disbelief when Sandy had suggested college. And look at him now.

Once Kirsten had provided them all with drinks, they left the dust and chaos of the house and sat outside near the pool. It was still fairly hot, but anything was better than the internal surroundings. Sandy fired up the grill whilst Kirsten busied herself with setting the table and bringing out shop bought salads and bread from the kitchen. She and Sandy had agreed that they would leave Ryan to handle his mother unless it looked like he needed them. They would only intervene if he appeared to be floundering.

However, Seth had different ideas. He stuck to Ryan like glue until Sandy called them to the table. He was reluctant to allow Dawn any space to talk to Ryan alone. He was afraid that if she did, she might persuade Ryan to go back with her. Seth told himself that he was protecting Ryan's best interests but he knew it wasn't just that. His motives were also selfish. He couldn't handle Ryan leaving again.

Ryan noticed Seth's more than usually odd behavior but didn't remark on it. The truth was, he was only too glad to have him around. It put off the moment which he knew would be coming, the Mother/Son chat that he knew was inevitable. Instead, they entertained Dawn with stories of Seth's life before Ryan had turned up, tales of Water Polo tormentors and his undying love for Summer.

Dawn enjoyed listening to Seth's stories although she found it hard to keep up with his babble. She could see from the easy way they were with each other that these two boys had a strong bond of friendship. And it hadn't gone unnoticed that Seth had not left Ryan's side since she arrived. She was pleased for Ryan. It was good that he had a friend who would support him. He needed that. He and Trey had been close but unfortunately that had not always been a good thing and she knew Ryan had experienced things way before he should have done, thanks to his older brother.

Sandy walked over to the boys, waving his barbeque tongs in the air.

"OK kids, Dawn. Dinner is served. I hope you like tuna Dawn, we get some fantastic fresh fish here in Newport."

"I'm not sure I've ever eaten fresh tuna before actually," Dawn replied. "Normally I eat the stuff from the can."

Seth looked sideways over at Sandy, eyebrows raised. Surely Sandy remembered that time he'd introduced Ryan to lobster. Sandy caught his son's expression and looked like he could have kicked himself. Of course she'd probably never had tuna. Expensive fish was not likely to have been high on the shopping list in the Atwood home.

Sandy smiled apprehensively at Dawn as he dished the fish out on to a plate. "Well, you're in for a real treat. This is completely different to the tinned variety. Now lets all sit down and eat."

By the time they were all seated at the table, Ryan's nerves had really gotten the better of him. He knew he couldn't avoid a one to one conversation with Dawn for much longer and he was feeling so sick to his stomach., he could barely eat. The food stuck in his throat and his mouth was dry as sawdust. He was beginning to regret suggesting this meeting . Yes, he'd wanted to know how she was doing, but he'd conveniently forgotten that that would also mean reopening old wounds, addressing issues he'd rather not deal with. Nearly becoming a father had made him realize that his mother must really love him to do what she did, in leaving him with the Cohens. But realizing someone loved you didn't excuse them from their behaviour to you. It didn't excuse the beatings from her boyfriends and her neglect. It didn't excuse the abandonment when he'd been released from juvie. He'd never have done that to his kid. He'd have supported his kid whatever they had done, good or bad. Just like Sandy and Kirsten had done this past year. They'd been there for him, through the good _and _the bad. Never once had they intimated that they regretted their decision, even when Ryan felt they had a right to. They were more his parents than Dawn would ever be.

Thankfully for Ryan, Sandy and Kirsten had noticed his unease and were doing their best to keep the conversation upbeat. They explained to Dawn the plans for the remodel and Kirsten told her about her sister's new job in Japan. Seth weighed in with the story of his broken love affair with Summer. They studiously avoided all talk of rehab centers, jail and Dawn's future plans.

Ryan sat quietly picking at his food, his mind teeming now with questions he wanted answering. What were her plans now? Where would she be living? Did she have a job organized? Did she know how Trey was doing?

Dawn noticed her son's reticence. He was so like his father, in looks and in character. She wondered if he realized that? Probably not. He'd been just a little boy when his father had left, Ryan had never had the chance to get to know him as a person.

She knew she needed to give him the chance and the space to talk to her. But she also knew that he would do his best to avoid it, because he was his father's son and that was always something Jim Atwood had been good at.

"Ryan, what say we head off down to the beach after dinner, if it's OK with Sandy and Kirsten that is?" She looked across at them questioningly. Sandy looked across at Kirsten. They'd known this time would come. Now here it was.

Kirsten's first reaction was to suggest they all go, she wanted to protect Ryan from this. She hated to see him in this state, wound up so tight. But she knew he needed to do this and she must let him, no matter how painful it would be for him, and for them. Her heart ached for him as she saw his eyes full of anxiety and uncertainty.

"That's a good idea Ryan, have some time on your own with your Mom. And we'll be right here when you get back." She smiled at him knowingly. And they would deal with anything they needed to deal with.

Ryan nodded. "Sure Mom, that'd be great…"

tbc


	2. Chapter Two

Thanks for all the positive comments....

Dulcey - I'm loving your story. You and I are obviously lovers of the angsty Ryan (oh and the naked one) ..oh where has he gone?

Elzed - Yes, a together Dawn spells trouble surely...

Brandywine - I'm honoured that you like this story, thank you!

Cheekymice - Yes I love me some Ryan angst...

Parisindy - thanks for your positive comment

Gibasi - I love Dawn too, I think it's the mother in me...

Seth escorted Ryan and Dawn to the front door and gave Ryan a reassuring slap on the back as he and his mother left the house.

"Later Dude!"

"Yeah, tell Sandy and Kirsten we won't be too long OK?" Ryan gave Seth a tight, anxious smile.

Seth nodded and shut the door behind them.

He moved quickly into the kitchen so that he could watch them as they walked down the driveway. He was still hovering as Kirsten entered the kitchen, laden down with dirty dishes from dinner. She gave him a knowing look.

"Seth, for goodness sake, will you leave Ryan in peace. Go and find something useful to do. You could help your father and I clear up all this mess."

"Yeah Mom, I would, but isn't that why we have Rosa? I mean, I wouldn't like to be responsible for adding to the unemployment line, really I wouldn't."

Kirsten glared at her son, frustrated yet defeated.

"Fine. Then make yourself scarce. Your Father and I want to talk."

Seth stared at his mother, his dark brown eyes eyeing her carefully.

"Talk? About Ryan? About his Mom? About whether he's going back to live with her?"

Kirsten looked reproachfully at her son. Her eyes showed a hint of pity for Seth.

"Sweetie. Just because Ryan wanted to meet up with his mother does _not _mean that he wants to go and live back with her OK?"

"Yeah right Mom. Cause we all know Ryan does just what he wants to do, not what he thinks he ought to do," he replied sarcastically.

He sat down heavily at the breakfast bar and flicked through his latest copy of Legion, showing no sign at all of registering what was on the page.

Kirsten sighed. How could she disagree with Seth when she thought the same thing herself? Ryan had spent his whole time in Newport doing what he felt other people wanted or needed, rescuing girls from gun wielding homicidal maniacs, supporting pregnant ex girlfriends, befriending lonely teenage boys who he had virtually nothing in common with. His track record spoke for itself. If, after this meeting with Dawn, Ryan felt he needed to be with her, then nothing they could say would change his mind. Not for the first time that day, her heart lurched and her stomach began churning.

She went to the refridgerator and retrieved two tubs of Ben and Jerry's finest. She sat down next to Seth with the ice cream, bowls and spoons.

"We need ice cream," she said flatly.

Seth raised a pair of sorrowful eyes at her.

"Seth look, whatever happens, Ryan will always be part of our family OK? Your Dad and I will see to that. There is absolutely no way we'd lose touch with him."

She took his head in her hands and forced him to look directly at her.

"We won't let that happen OK?"

"It's just like Theresa and the baby all over again," he muttered under his breath.

"Yes, I can see why you would think that. Really I can. But there _is_ a difference. None of us handled that well, Ryan leaving. We all know that. This time we'll get it right."

Sandy stood hovering at the door, watching his wife and son agonize over the life of a boy they hadn't known existed a year ago. Sometimes still, he wasn't sure he'd done the right thing in bringing Ryan here. Life would have been a hell of a lot less traumatic if he hadn't. He'd found it hard watching Kirsten struggling day in, day out, this summer, to hold herself together while her son was doing God only knew what in Portland and her foster son worked his ass off in a job he was too young to be doing.

He walked over to them and put one arm round each of them.

"Hey. We don't even know what Dawn's plans are yet, OK? Let's not jump the gun. She may not even be in a position to have Ryan come back and live with her."

"God, I hope that's the case," Kirsten said, laying her head on Sandy's arm. "I know I'm being selfish. If I were Dawn, I'd want Ryan with me, my own flesh and blood, my child. Did you see the way he looked at her Sandy, when she arrived? Did you see his face when she hugged him?" Her voice became choked and wobbly.

Sandy took his wife in his arms and stroked her long blond hair affectionately.

"I saw, Kirsten, I saw. But I'm hoping this time he will be able to let Dawn cope with her new life on her own. I'm hoping he'll realize she needs to do this on her own and not let him be her crutch. I just hope she realizes it too…"

Seth watched his parents as they comforted each other. He realized that they were just as afraid of losing Ryan as he was.

"Dad, did she talk about her plans at all in the car?"

"No," Sandy shook his head "and I didn't ask. I think it's better we leave Ryan to find that out. I don't want him to think we're interfering. Besides, Dawn needs to make this transition herself and start being responsible for her own decisions. The clinic will have helped her with all that, these last few weeks."

"You think she's up to it Dad?" Seth's voice betrayed the bitterness he was feeling.

Sandy looked at him intently.

"I have no idea, son. But I do know this. Whatever happens, we'll be here to support Ryan. And by that I'm including you. You need to show him that you'll back him whichever way this thing swings."

Seth locked eyes with his father. He got what he was saying. Running away to Portland was not an option this time.

He nodded to his parents and left the room, his curly head cast down low.

Sandy looked over to his wife questioningly.

"Drink?"

"Dear God, yes. A very large one."

Kirsten got up and hunted for the corkscrew, while Sandy found two large wine glasses. Kirsten relaxed at the sound of the liquid tumbling into the glass.

"I know you think he'll go Kirsten. But I don't think you're giving him credit for what he's been through his year, or Dawn for that matter. She can see how happy and settled he is here. Would you do that to Seth? Drag him away from a place he's loved and well cared for, for your own selfish needs?"

"I…I don't know Sandy. I hope I'll never be in that position." She answered quietly, nursing her drink in her hands.

He took her in his arms and kissed her head lightly.

"Me too Honey, me too."

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"I'm so glad you asked to see me Ryan. Can I ask you what changed your mind? I mean, Sandy's kept me in touch with what's been going on in your life, but he always made it quite clear that you never asked about me."

Ryan looked down at his feet. How could he tell her that he'd thought about her every day, that the pain of seeing her leave the Cohens that day last fall was never far from the surface and that he'd hated her for it.

"I don't know," he began hesitantly, "I just….". He sighed heavily and stopped walking, thrusting his hands deep into his pockets. He turned and looked directly at her, his blue eyes steady.

"Mom, I'm really glad you're here. You look really good, you know. " He didn't add, "I just hope this'll last".

Dawn smiled at him and put her hand up to his face. She brushed his hair out of his eyes. He pulled his head back slightly, wary of her touch.

"I know what you're thinking sweetie. Can I hold it together?"

He didn't answer but he half smiled back and they continued walking.

Dawn looked out toward the ocean, observed the surfers and the yachts, the teenage girls tanning themselves and the little kids playing on the sand. This was so far from what she was used to, so far from what her kid had been used to. Was he settled in this place? Was he happy here? She hoped he was, she'd taken a gamble when she left him. According to Sandy things were working out but how did Ryan feel about it?

"So, Sandy tells me you've had a kind of up and down year."

"I guess" he replied cautiously, refusing to meet her eyes.

"He mentioned something about a suspension and a couple of incidents with guns?"

She looked across at him, her face a picture of concern.

"Hey, you can take the boy out of Chino but you can't take Chino out of the boy! " he joked venomously. He saw her face cloud with anxiety and felt ashamed.

"Actually, ….not a lot of that stuff was to do with me but I kind of have a habit of getting mixed up in things."

She nodded as if she understood.

He wondered what else Sandy had told her. Did she know about Theresa and the baby? Eddie? Marissa? Had Sandy told her any of the good stuff? Did she know about his place on the soccer team, the good grades, and the friends he'd made? Maybe if all she had heard were bad, she would want him to leave Newport. The thought alarmed him. Was this why she'd agreed to come? Had she decided Newport was no better than Chino? Did she want him back?

His stomach started churning with anxiety. He wrapped his arms around himself tightly, his body rigid with tension. How could he refuse her if she asked? She'd always relied upon him. He couldn't let her down could he? But shit, return to Chino _again?_ He'd just been given a second chance.

As if reading his thoughts Dawn began speaking again.

"You know Ry, I'm so proud of you. From what Sandy says, you've really settled in well here, made a life for yourself." She looked across at him questioningly.

"I guess" he replied, "Things aren't perfect here, but yeah, I'm getting on OK. And the Cohens are…"

His voice trailed. How could he describe to his mother what the Cohens meant to him without implicitly criticizing her?

"The Cohens are everything I'm not huh?"

"I didn't say that Mom"

"I know kiddo, but seeing you with them tonight? You seemed so relaxed, so part of their world, their family."

"Does that disappoint you?" he snapped, his anxiety overcoming his reticence.

The realization suddenly came upon Dawn as she saw his eyes flashing with fear. He thought she wanted him back. He thought she was here to take him away from them.

"Oh sweetie, look, I came here because you _asked_ me to and because I wanted to see you. I have _no_ intention of asking you to leave. My God, is that what you thought? It _is_ what you thought!" as she saw Ryan sit down and hug his knees to his chest.

She moved closer to him and knelt down, enveloping him in her arms. He stayed rigid but didn't shrug her off.

"Ryan, Ryan listen to me," she pleaded as she took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her.

"The hardest thing I ever did was leave you here. I don't know if you understand that. I love you Ryan, you're my son. But I couldn't give you what you needed, what you deserved. I've screwed up my life I know and I've been a lousy Mom to you and Trey. I get that, OK? This was the one good thing I could do for you. You deserved so much better than what I was giving you kiddo. You're so smart, you could really do something with your life."

He let her finish, waiting patiently, digging his toes into the sand.

"It's OK Mom, I get it, I do."

"Really? And you…you forgive me?" she asked tentatively.

"Mom, there's nothing to forgive. I see that now. I'm sorry I froze you out. I just thought you didn't want me around. I thought…I thought I was too much trouble…"

He paused and struggled to regain his composure, his eyes heavy with unshed tears. He swallowed deeply and continued in a whisper

"I'm guessing you know about the baby…"

Dawn nodded silently, her face full of compassion for her grieving child. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it tightly.

"When Theresa…."he took a deep breath.

"Before Theresa …. lost the baby, I found out it was mine. I didn't really expect it, but I felt, you know, proud and …." His voice trailed away and he looked, unseeing, towards the horizon.

"And you loved it. And then you lost it." She finished simply.

He nodded, unable to speak. He bit his lip as he struggled to keep his emotions in check.

"I'm sorry kiddo, I'm so, so sorry."

Ryan pulled himself up from the sand and put out his hand for his mother.

He wanted to move on from this conversation quickly. Talking about it was just too painful. He couldn't talk about it with Dawn any more than he could with the Cohens. Hell, he couldn't even talk about it with Theresa, and she was going through the same thing. He took a deep breath and brushed his hair away from his face. He'd tried not to think about Theresa lately. He felt guilty that he'd made no attempt to contact her, comfort her or be there for her. He was just so goddamn tired of having to be there for people, for Marissa, for Theresa, for his mother. What he really wanted to do was shut himself away in the Pool house and forget all the bad things that had happened over the last few months. He didn't want to deal with any of them.

They had reached the end of the beach. Dawn sensed his reticence to discuss the baby further and looked over at him questioningly.

"Buy you an ice cream?"

"Yeah, yeah that'd be great," he replied, "the Bal boa bars are good"

"OK sweetie. Wait here and I'll fetch them"

He watched her as she joined the small queue in front of the ice cream kiosk. He needed to find out what her plans were. Now that he knew she wasn't expecting him to join her, he needed to make sure she was going to be OK. He'd noticed that no one had discussed her plans at dinner. He certainly hadn't wanted to bring them up, afraid that the Cohen's would offer their help once again. He knew she would find it harder than he would to turn offers of help down and he didn't want the Cohens to feel they had to help her just because of him. Maybe she and Sandy had discussed it all ready and just not told him. Who knew? He was used to being kept in the dark, it wouldn't surprise him if Sandy and Kirsten had a whole plan sorted out for Dawn.

She returned quickly and they sat down together on the warm sand, eating their ice cream in silence, each lost temporarily in their own thoughts.

Just as Ryan had mustered up the courage to ask Dawn outright what she was planning to do, she reached into her pocket and drew out an envelope.

"Ryan sweetie, I have something for you."

He raised his eyebrows, took the envelope from her and drew out its contents.

"A plane ticket to Wilmington, North Carolina?" He looked across at her, confused.

"Remember Frank and Lily, our neighbors in Fresno?"

Ryan struggled to think back to his life as an eight year old.

"Uncle Frank?"

"Yeah. I thought you'd remember. They were always real good to you and Trey."

Ryan nodded, not sure where this conversation was leading them.

"They've moved out there, to the East coast. They run a ranch near the ocean. I got back in touch with them while I was in the Clinic. They're struggling to keep up with the place on their own and they've invited me to go stay with them. Free board and lodging in return for help around the ranch."

"North Carolina?" Ryan questioned, shocked at how far away she intended to go.

"I know it's a long way away Ryan. But I think this is the best chance I have of staying clean. I _can't _go back to Chino. Too many memories, too many people who'll tempt me back to my old ways. This way I have a chance. It's very quiet there; a small community, and Frank and Lily are good people. "

She spoke now with a sense of urgency and scoured her son's face for clues as to his reaction. If he wasn't one hundred percent sure about it, then she couldn't go. More than anything else, she didn't want him to feel she was abandoning him again.

He sat and fingered the ticket.

"And the ticket?" he responded finally.

"For you sweetie. For any time you need it. Just get on the plane and I'll be there waiting."

She looked at him hopefully, trying not to appear as if she was pleading. She wanted him to understand that he had a choice and that if he wanted to stay with the Cohens then she wouldn't stand in his way. But that she would be there for him if he needed her.

Wordlessly he folded up the ticket and tucked it safely into the back pocket of his jeans. He swallowed deeply and turned to face her.

"I love you Mom."

She smiled back and they hugged each other tightly.

"Me too, sweetie, me too,"

Fin


	3. The Epilogue

Famous99, this is for you because you wanted more...I hope it answers some of your questions.....

Thanks for all the reviews everyone....

Epilogue

Kirsten was pacing. It was past midnight and there was no sign of either Ryan or Dawn. Sandy raised his eyebrows at her as he struggled to hang a piece of surfing memorabilia onto the wall in the unfinished Family Room.

"Pacing isn't going to help honey,"

She turned on him.

"Where the hell is he Sandy? It's past midnight. We should never have let him go with her. Supposing she's kidnapped him?"

Sandy chuckled at the thought.

"He's almost a grown man Kirsten. For goodness sake, calm down. He'll be home soon, I'm sure of it. Now sit down and try to relax."

He moved over to her back and took her shoulders in his hands, massaging gently.

She moved away abruptly, irritated.

"I can't relax Sandy. Not until I know what's going on. We should have insisted that he took a cell phone with him."

Sandy knew she was more worried about the situation they found themselves in than cross with Ryan's lateness. He wanted to reassure her that everything would be OK but he wasn't so sure himself. When Ryan got it into his head that someone needed his help, there was no way he could be diverted from his mission, especially when the person was his own mother. Sandy knew Ryan had been in this situation countless times when he was younger and it would be a hard habit for him to break. Still, Sandy was hopeful that this time would be different.

Seth sat in front of the PS2 trying to annialate ninjas. He was faring badly. He wouldn't be able to focus until he knew exactly what was happening with Ryan. He threw the controller down in frustration as he lost yet another battle.

"Should I go out and look for them Dad?"

"No, I don't want you disappearing too. Ryan will be back when he's good and ready."

He spoke with more conviction than he felt.

Ryan walked nervously through the hallway. He was home much later than he had intended and he knew the Cohens would be worried. But after seeing Dawn off to the airport in a taxi, he had felt too wound up to return immediately. He'd needed time alone, to pull himself together and prepare to face them. He knew once he got back, he'd be swamped with questions and he wanted his head to be clear. He was glad Dawn had begun to stand on her own two feet. She'd been right when she'd said she'd been a hopeless mother but Ryan was past being angry with her. He wanted to move on and continue his life here in Newport. He was grateful he could do that without feeling guilty about abandoning her. He remembered Frank and Lily well and knew he could trust them to keep an eye on her.

He took a deep breath before he entered the kitchen. He hoped they'd be as relieved as he was. Deep down, he knew they would be. This summer, he'd finally been able to accept his place in this family. He finally understood that they wanted him because they loved him and not out of any misguided sense of loyalty. He walked through to the den, his hands thrust deep into his pockets.

"Hey," he said quietly.

Kirsten rushed over to him.

"Thank God you're back Ryan. I was getting so worried."

"I'm sorry, I kind of lost track of time…"

"Where's Dawn?" Sandy questioned, his face perplexed.

"She….left already," replied Ryan, his eyes cast downwards.

"Where'd she go?"

"Um…North Carolina actually…" replied Ryan, his face unreadable.

"North Carolina?" the Cohens responded in unison, their faces screwed up in confusion.

"Yeah….it's a long story" Ryan shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh sweetie I'm sorry…." Kirsten began, bringing him into a hug. Damn that woman. She'd abandoned her son yet again.

"No, it's OK, really," Ryan sought to reassure her. "We had a really good talk. Best we've ever had actually."

"Really?" Kirsten still looked anxious and disbelieving.

He fell silent. If the Cohens had hoped for more explanation they knew better than to force him.

"So if your Mom's gone to North Carolina, buddy, does that mean you're staying?" Seth stood there grinning sheepishly, hardly daring to hope that Ryan was really back for good this time.

"Is that gonna be a problem?" Ryan answered stonily, giving him the Ryan Atwood look.

Seth's face dropped. Had he misread the situation? Was Ryan more upset than he'd appeared? Ryan looked back, his eyes twinkling.

Seth's face was grinning from ear to ear.

"No problem at all buddy, no problem at on, the ninjas are calling." They smacked their hands together, the closest they ever came to a hug, and disappeared into the Family room.

Sandy and Kirsten looked on, smiling, as they reached out to embrace each other.

Sandy took Kirsten's face in his hands

"Happy now?"

She nodded.

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Six months later….

Sandy, Kirsten and Seth stood at the Arrivals Hall at Orange County airport. They were getting used to this routine now. Ryan had visited his mother every couple of months since she left. Somehow, after each visit, she would have scraped together enough money to buy him another plane ticket for his next visit. Sandy and Kirsten would happily have paid for him but they understood her need to do this one small thing for her son. So far, she hadn't let him down. She'd been sober eight months and fifteen days and was not only still living with Frank and Lily, but also holding down a part time job in the small town near the Ranch. Each time he returned from visiting her, he appeared a little more secure, a little more relaxed. Sometimes it seemed to Sandy and Kirsten that he was getting younger, not older, as if he was finally able to live life as a normal teenager.

He emerged from the Arrivals lounge, backpack swung over his shoulders, scanning the waiting crowd. His face broke into a huge grin when he saw them.

"Hey stranger, welcome back" Kirsten hugged him tightly.

"How was it kid?" Sandy asked.

"Really, really good" he replied, smiling.

Sandy was satisfied. He nodded his head towards the entrance.

"Come on, you can tell us more in the car…"

They walked companionably to the BMW and Ryan stowed his backpack in the trunk.

"So Dude, you won't believe what's been happening between me and Summer since you've been gone…" Seth began babbling.

Ryan looked across at him, eyebrows raised wearily.

"Seth, I've been away two weeks. You've emailed me twice a day; we've spoken on the phone every evening. What could I possibly have missed?"

Kirsten and Sandy looked across at each other, their eyes laughing silently as their sons continued the banter they'd grown to love…


End file.
